Dying and emotions

If you or someone you love is nearing end of life or has an advanced cancer diagnosis, it can be an emotional and challenging time.

As well as dealing with difficult emotions, you may have financial and care arrangements to make, which can feel overwhelming.

The information on this page will help you and your family get support with the emotional and practical aspects of living with dying.

What is ‘living with dying’?

Living with dying is the experience of trying to live as well as possible following a life-limiting cancer diagnosis.

You may feel like you are living with dying at the point you are told that the cancer cannot be cured. Others define it as the time you are entering the last months or weeks of the illness.

An advanced cancer diagnosis can make that once-distant awareness of our mortality suddenly feel closer and more tangible, which can be daunting and painful to consider.

It may bring up a whole range of feelings, emotions and questions for you. You may have important decisions to make, and conversations to have.

Emotions and feelings

Focusing on living, whilst knowing that time is shorter than planned, can trigger a mixture of emotions.

• It may not seem real, and many people cope by living day to day without trying to think of the uncertainty of the future.
• You may feel immense sadness, and experience emotional and spiritual pain.
• You may feel anxious, angry and helpless, or even guilty.
• It can be a time of reflection – on relationships, the meaning of life, and worries about how things may be towards the end and beyond.

Talking to others

Talking with others can create closeness, help you share concerns and remind you that you aren't alone.

When someone is nearing the end of life, it can also be a time to say the things that are important to you all.

Whether you’re the person with cancer or a close family member or friend, you may find it difficult to talk about the feelings you’re experiencing, especially to each other.

Sometimes, it helps to say what's on your mind to someone else who may understand. Cancer support specialists and psychologists at Maggie's are here to help you speak your mind and prepare for conversations you want to have with loved ones.

Sadness and depression

It’s natural to feel sad when a life is being limited, and experiencing sadness and grief can be part of living with dying.

You don't need to face these feelings alone: getting support can lighten the load and help you learn to live through them.

Choose someone you feel comfortable with to talk to, such as a friend or family member, a Maggie's counsellor or cancer support specialist, or with others who understand what you're going through.

If you are struggling with low mood and depression, it is important that you speak to your GP or a member of your healthcare team.

Practical matters

There are a number of practical things that can be done to help you feel more secure and in control after an advanced cancer diagnosis.

Even if you are receiving treatment that is slowing the cancer and relieving symptoms, knowing that certain matters have been discussed and measures are in place can help you live your life to the full, for as long as possible.

If you are caring for someone with advanced cancer, you might wish to bring up the conversation of practical matters to help them

Finances

You and your family may want to make sure that financial affairs are sorted. This might include:

• making a Will
• updating beneficiaries on life insurance and pension accounts
• creating a power of attorney in case you are unable to manage your own finances
• listing all your bank account, investment, debt and subscription details, including passwords
• setting aside funds for care, end of life and funeral expenses

End of life care

You may also want to think about where you wish to be cared for as your cancer progresses, called end of life care or palliative care.

Funeral arrangements

You might have particular wishes for your funeral, such as a particular funeral director, hymns to be sung, and how and where you'd want to be laid to rest.

As difficult as it can be to talk about a time when you'll no longer be here, it can give your loved ones peace of mind to know that they are acting in your will.

How Maggie’s can help

We are here to support you through whatever it is that you're facing. You can talk through the emotional impact of your prognosis with our cancer support specialists, receive practical help with finances from our benefits advisors, and meet other people in similar situations to yourself.

Family support is also available, and we have a range of workshops, support groups, courses and counselling to help you through this difficult time.

• Just come in 
• Call us on 0300 123 180 or arrange a callback
• Email us at enquiries@maggies.org 

Our phone lines and centres are open  Monday to Friday, 9 am to 5 pm.

Last review: Jan 2026 | Next review: Jan 2029