Advanced cancer and emotions

If you, or someone you care about, have been diagnosed with advanced cancer, it’s natural to feel anxious. You may be worried about what the future holds and what plans you should be making.

The information on this page will help you to find out more about advanced cancer and discover ways to cope with the emotions and practical issues this raises.

What is advanced cancer?

When healthcare professionals talk about advanced cancer, they usually mean that the cancer can’t be cured. It is sometimes called secondary cancer, metastatic cancer or stage 4 cancer.

There are often treatment options available for advanced cancer. While treatment may not aim to cure the cancer, it can slow the growth and prevent further spread of the cancer for months or years.

Treatment can also help reduce any symptoms the cancer may be causing.

For some people, treatment plans may be focused on improving and maintaining your quality of life for as long as possible.

Getting diagnosed with advanced cancer

You may have been diagnosed with advanced cancer in your initial diagnosis, after having symptoms investigated.

Alternatively, you may have already had treatment for cancer, and either the cancer has come back or has stopped responding to the treatment you are on.

Learning that you or someone you care about has advanced cancer can feel overwhelming. It may or may not be news you were expecting, and it can be a lot to take in.

At Maggie’s, we understand how difficult the news that you have advanced cancer can be to hear, and we are here to listen, support and help you and your family.

Living with advanced cancer

Having advanced cancer moves life’s goalposts, and at first, you and those closest to you may feel helpless and lost, or scared and not able to focus.

The shock of the news may trigger a wave of emotions, such as anger, guilt, sadness, and fear.

Coping with an advanced cancer diagnosis can start by taking back some control over the situation, one step at a time.

Finding ways to cope with an advanced cancer diagnosis

• Find out more about what is going to happen next. Ask your healthcare team about treatment plans and other questions you may have. 
• Consider whether you would like to know your life expectancy, sometimes called prognosis. It can be hard to predict, but you may find that having an open discussion with your doctors, handled sensitively, can help you plan ahead.
• Find out ways you can make things easier for yourself. For example, getting organised, having a treatment diary/calendar to keep track of appointments, and setting yourself some achievable goals. You might want to look at how nutrition and exercise may help you, or learn how to de-stress and relax to ease moments of panic. 
• Ask for and accept offers of help. If people offer help with food, lifts to hospital, childcare, etc. and it will make things easier for you, take them up on it. Sometimes, friends and are not sure how to help, so don't be scared to ask them to help with a specific task.
• Make plans to sort out finances. This might mean talking with your employer, speaking to a Maggie's benefits advisor, or thinking about practical matters including wills. It can be difficult to talk about these things, but it can give you and those around you peace of mind so you can focus on living and getting on with treatment. 
• Recognise that you may need support. Having advanced cancer can make you feel isolated. Family and relationships may be strained as you learn to live with the uncertainties you’re facing. You may want to feel closer to those you love, or you may feel like withdrawing – this is the time to talk. Your support may come from family and friends, work, school, or your local community. Look into support groups and places like Maggie’s where you can talk openly about the issues you’re facing.
• Understand that your loved ones may need support too. When someone has advanced cancer, everyone around them can also be feeling stressed and mentally exhausted. Family frictions can arise at a time when you wish to be closer emotionally. Acknowledging the pressures, and sharing the fears and feelings can help relieve the tension. This might be through support at Maggie’s - we are here for friends and family too.
• Keep ‘hope’ in the frame. When cancer can’t be cured, things may begin to feel hopeless. It may be that the aims of hope change. Achievable goals, such as aiming to live as well as possible for as long as possible, can instil hope. Think about breaks away, days out, treats to look forward to, and being able to say ‘no’ more often.

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When to seek further help


Having advanced cancer can affect your mood – you may feel panicky, low in mood, anxious and not be sleeping very well. These reactions are normal, but if they go on for a number of days, or you feel you cannot cope anymore, do tell your doctor. Help and support is available.

If your cancer symptoms are getting worse, or you’re struggling at home, discuss this with your healthcare team. It’s tempting to think you’ll manage or that there are others worse off than you. However, catching problems and worries early can make life easier. There are lots of ways to ease side effects and symptoms, but your team need to know so they can help.

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What now?

Get in touch with your GP, if you’re worried about your future end of life care, or need help and advice about how to manage your care at home.

Look through the links and blogs on this page for further information.

Visit your local Maggie’s centre to talk with a cancer support specialist, psychologist or benefits advisor, as well as other people in situations similar to yours.

Last review: Sep 2025 | Next review: Sep 2028