Nearly half of people worry about speaking to loved ones with cancer

The poll found that 44 per cent of those asked were worried about making conversation with a friend or family member who had been diagnosed with cancer.

• More than half (54%) of those polled said they would be anxious about saying the wrong thing
• 50 per cent said they would worry about upsetting the person with cancer
• A third of people surveyed said they didn’t know how to start the conversation
• 19 per cent were concerned about talking about their own life

Anxiety around upsetting people with cancer

Maggie’s has been providing free emotional and practical support for people impacted by cancer for 30 years, across 27 centres in the UK. 

Chief Executive of Maggie's Dame Laura Lee DBE said: “We know that speaking to someone with cancer can cause huge anxiety for people, with many friends and family members worrying about saying the ‘wrong’ thing or upsetting someone they love.

“These concerns can be exacerbated around Christmas when people tend to spend more time together and emotions may be heightened.

“Yet the festive season is also an opportunity for people to come together and have meaningful conversations that can help people with cancer feel supported and listened to.”

Addressing the elephant in the room

Jo, 60, was diagnosed with primary breast cancer in 2005 and received a secondary cancer diagnosis in 2022.

She said: “I have a lot of sympathy for my family and friends. I can see they don’t want to upset me and at the same time they don’t want to ignore my cancer and treatments. Some people can be worried to ask me how I am or how my treatment is going, but it can become an uncomfortable elephant in the room if they don’t enquire.

“There are also times when I don’t want to talk about it and I want to feel like my old self. But in complete contradiction I also want people to be interested as cancer is a huge part of my life. 

“I think the best approach is to ask how someone is feeling, gauge their response and take it from there. You’ll soon know if they want to talk about their cancer or if they want to pretend it isn’t part of their lives for a while.

“I feel lucky that Maggie’s came into my life at the right time. I found answers, understanding, solace and how to make peace with my diagnosis. And importantly, I met people in the same situation as me. We speak often and support each other.

Sometimes we vent, we ask for advice but, mainly, we smile, we laugh and we live.

Showing them you care

Psychologist Robin Muir supports people living with cancer, as well as family and friends, at the Maggie’s centre in Manchester. He said: “We constantly hear in our centres how difficult people can find speaking to someone they love who has cancer.

“It can be very stressful to find a balance between showing you care without upsetting someone, or treating the person in the same way as usual without ignoring the fact that they are going through a very challenging time.

“People with cancer need their family and friends around them more than ever and generally would rather someone tried to have a conversation clumsily than not at all.

“That said, there are some basic principles people can employ to ease the way for caring and meaningful connection while avoiding pitfalls than can cause upset. We have outlined these in our 10 tips for speaking to someone with cancer.”

How Maggie's can help

Whatever kind of cancer, whatever stage you're at, Maggie's is here with you.

Our expert staff are here to listen to your concerns and find the help you need wherever you are – over the phone and online.

• Just come in 
• Call us on 0300 123 180 or arrange a callback
• Email us at enquiries@maggies.org 
• Our phone lines and centres are open  Monday to Friday, 9 am to 5 pm

^{This online survey of 2000 UK Adults (nationally representative on the basis of age, gender, and region) was commissioned by Maggie's and conducted by market research company OnePoll, in accordance with the Market Research Society's code of conduct. Data was collected between 10th and 12th November 2025. All participants are double-opted in to take part in research and are paid an amount depending on the length and complexity of the survey. This survey was overseen and edited by the OnePoll research team. OnePoll are MRS Company Partners, corporate membership of ESOMAR and Members of the British Polling Council.}