Vicky on boosting her self-confidence through workshops at Maggie's

I live in Chester so my initial appointments took place there, and then my treatment started in the Wirral.

My first appointment was to prepare for chemo. During this appointment they took me up to the ward, just to see it, because the chemo was starting the next week. I had a little look around. And I started feeling really overwhelmed.

It was just so much that I hadn’t expected. There were so many unwell people, and so many nurses running around doing everything.

I thought: “Oh my, that is going to be next week”. The nurses said if you need any support go to Maggie’s, and pointed out the Maggie’s posters around the hospital.

So afterwards, I popped over to Maggie’s to just see what it was.

The homey opposite of the hospital environment

I went with my fiancé Mick, and we were welcomed by Vicky, a cancer support specialist at Maggie's in Wirral. We had a little chat, and I just cried and cried. I was just so overwhelmed with everything.

But Vicky sat me down, we talked and she told me about all the things that happen at Maggie’s, all the courses and things I could attend.

Maggie’s is the complete opposite to being in the hospital. You’ve got all the clinical doctors, nurses, and stuff like that over there compared to the warm orange colours and lots of smiles here.

Lots of people who, even after only a couple of weeks, recognise me and know me by my name. When I walked in, they asked me how I was getting on and how treatment was going. They have all nice comfy chairs, cushions and rugs – it is so homey. And it is the complete opposite to that medical, sterile sort of environment.

Treatment and trying to reduce hair loss

I was on chemo for five months, from January to May, and then I had surgery at the end of June. I had a single mastectomy with immediate reconstruction from my tummy, they cut my tummy up and made a new breast of it. As soon as I recovered from that I had three weeks of radiotherapy.

With the chemo, I had two different regimes. I had 12 weeks of one, and then another eight weeks of a different type, which they told me was harsher and from the start that I was going to lose my hair as well.

I tried cold capping at first, to help reduce the hair loss. But I found it awful - it felt like my brain was frozen, and I couldn’t concentrate. So I decided pretty quickly I wasn’t going to continue with that, because it was such a tough old slog. Because of that, I got the wig voucher.

Courses and support at Maggie's during treatment

When I initially visited Maggie’s, Vicky talked to me about some of the courses. Two of them really stood out: Look Good, Feel Better; and Headwrappers.

Look Good, Feel Better

I attended the Look Good, Feel Better course just after I had lost my hair. I was very self-conscious - my eyebrows were coming out and I had patchy eyelashes. It was a really nice group, with women all going through the same thing, just having a rubbish time.

And just doing something that’s so silly in the grand scheme of things, such as putting on make-up is such a small thing, but it made me feel so much better because we were all just chatting away and it wasn’t just about the cancer. We shared make-up tips, and swapped blusher.

Headwrappers

The other thing that stood out was the Headwrappers course. My sister had bought me a headscarf after I lost my hair, but I had no idea what to do with it.

The Headwrappers workshop was really lovely to come to, even just have a laugh (because it was funny as well)!

Support for my partner too

After that, my fiancé and I would just pop over to Maggie’s every now and then. Sometimes when the chemo sessions were really long he would come over for a cup of tea or coffee and just sit on his work laptop.

Struggling mentally after treatment

When treatment finished in September, that’s when I struggled the most mentally. I was getting discharged from different hospitals and I was absolutely feeling battered.

It kind of hit me when it stopped, because it had been such a busy nine months. It was non-stop, and then all of a sudden it is quiet and you think – what the heck just happened? What have I just been through? All of the trauma comes out, because there wasn’t time to think about it during treatment.

I knew I wasn’t well enough to go back to work, but I was just sat at home thinking what do I do?

Maggie’s told me about the ‘Where Now?’ course, and that is the best thing I’ve done. It was eight weeks or so long, and with just the loveliest group of women. It just so happened that everyone on our session was women who had been treated for breast cancer, all different types.

It gave me the world of good every week, we would just sit and chat. It was with people who really get it – they knew exactly what you were going through. It made me feel in some respects, I was lucky. I’d not had to go on a massive waiting list for reconstruction and was so grateful I’d had mine.

Young Women with Cancer group

After that, I joined the Young Women with Cancer group, which I still go to now. It’s a handful of young women who just get together on a Friday, have coffee and biscuits and just have a catch-up. Sometimes we talk about cancer, sometimes it’s not, it is just life. It’s been so nice making friends with people who get it, and who’ve been through the same trauma and understand where you’re at.

You can easily avoid talking about cancer - it can be hard and kind of awkward as well. Some people don’t want to hear it either. They say: ‘I’m here if you need anything’, but then they don’t want to know.

But being in the young women’s group, you can just say anything you need to say. I didn’t have to hold it in, or put on a brave face, because I didn’t want my family to worry.

The first time I went to the group I just sat down and cried, because finally it was a place where they get it. There is no judgement and everyone offers tips. I’d say to anyone to give a support group a try. You might not like talking, but you can really be open, honest and share what you need to share to move forward.

Most of the other women in the 'Where Now?' group were older than me, and although I had a lot in common with them, there were also things that I was struggling with that weren't necessarily as relevant to them.

So it’s really good to have that support from the young women’s group on things like body concerns, wearing a bikini, and also things like sex changing after cancer. We’ve talked about all of this in the group. And you can’t talk about it with your friends as they don’t understand, but the young women’s group get it.

Wedding plans and fundraising for Maggie's

I got diagnosed with cancer in October 2023, three days before we were due to fly to South Africa - where my partner is from. It turned out he was planning on proposing there as well.

It was devastating, mentally – we were both off work, we couldn’t go away because I was having loads of tests, but we still had days out for Christmas.

Then one day we went to Llandudno, and he proposed to me on the top of the mountain – it was so sweet. We’re getting married next July so that’s now my focus.

My sister and my fiancé ran the Chester triple – a 10k, a half-marathon and a full marathon – and raised £5,250 for Maggie's. I am so proud of them.

Moving forwards with life and feeling hopeful

I’ve been to Maggie’s a lot and throughout my journey, from starting treatment to Where Now, all the way through. They’ve just been so supportive when I was at my absolute worse.

When the treatment started, I was just terrified and scared. I’d never been to a hospital in my life, I’ve never been ill. But it became clear that treatment was working really well, and my feelings changed to hope. It was still hard, but easier to stay positive and focus on the end game.

I was absolutely over the moon when I was told the cancer had gone. But dealing with it after was hard. I am so much better than I was. I am not quite there yet, but I am getting there.

I am just so grateful to the hundreds of NHS staff I’ve come across along the way and all the people at Maggie’s. I don’t know where I’d be without all those amazing people.

I just never will take life for granted. I know that sounds cheesy, but it wasn’t on my radar to have breast cancer at 30-years-old. I feel so lucky that I got through it and I get to live life again and enjoy life again.

We’re here with you

Our cancer support specialists, psychologists and benefits advisors are here for everyone with cancer, and all the people who love them.

Interested in joining a support group? We will help you find the right groups for you.

• Come and see us at your nearest Maggie’s
• Call us on 0300 123 180 or arrange a callback
• Email us at enquiries@maggies.org