Andrew on giving back to Maggie's through fundraising

After the treatment, I struggled to adapt to the new me, and my mental health suffered. At the time I was a serving police officer of 20 years, and it was through the job a friend whose wife had unfortunately passed away from cancer, said "You should go to Maggie's".

I kept saying "I will, I will, I will", but actually, I thought, 'I can deal with this myself. I don't need help.'

I felt it was like a weakness to go to Maggie's. Until one day, I was here at the hospital for a check-up, and my wife said, "Let's go".

We just came in, spoke to one of the lovely cancer support specialists, and I explained that I was struggling. They said I should try counselling, so I had regular sessions with Hannah, the counselling psychologist at Maggie's in Fife.

Taking on my fears and taking to the skies for Maggie's

I got the all-clear in November that year, and I'd said to my wife that I wanted to start doing things I'd never done before. But I meant something like the North 500, or going to Italy... She thought jumping out of a plane was what I meant!

She gave me the skydiving experience for Christmas, and the first thing I said was: "You do know I'm scared of heights, right?!"

But then I decided, I'm gonna do this for Maggie's, because they've done so much for me. I felt it was time to give back. After the hospitality I'd received, the friendship, the advice, the counselling, and hearing how much Maggie's costs to run as a charity - I felt with the skydive that I had the chance to raise some money and give back.

The skydive was amazing. I'm glad I did it, and I was surprised that we got that amount of money. We raised over £1500 in the end.

I think a lot of people assume that 'Oh he's had cancer, he's a brave person, he's strong.' But I'm not.

It's people like those here - the staff at Maggie's and in the hospital - that are strong, that do all the work.

I just go and sit there. It's not like I had to do anything - I just sit there, get pumped full of drugs, and then deal with side effects!

Coping with side effects

The side effects from the treatment have been worse than the actual treatment.

• My short-term memory and brain fog is awful.
• I've started to get cold feet at nighttime, and that stingy feeling of when you put cold hands in hot water.
• I can't breathe properly because I don't have any pressure to blow my nose.
• And I have to wear glasses and a hearing aid due to my right eye and ear drum being damaged.

Before I was diagnosed, I was due to go to work one day, and my eye just wandered to the right and I couldn't see. I didn't tell anyone and continued working, however, it got worse over the following days. I ended up getting my eye tested, and that's when they said there's something there. I went to the hospital for an X-ray, had the biopsy, and that's how I got diagnosed.

Returning to Maggie's to speak with a counselling psychologist

I was here at Maggie's for a men's group recently, and a gentleman in the room opened up about how he'd been down a bit and come in for support.

I know Maggie's is a safe place, but when you see other people open up like that, you feel safe to open up yourself.

Before the diagnosis, I was healthy. I would go the gym most days and was full time working in the police on the streets.

But since having cancer, I've had to take medical retirement from the job. I've got pains in my body, I can't do certain things, I get tired easier. And I was getting headaches looking at the computers too long. There was one time when I was at work and I was about to pass out. (Luckily, someone got me out for some fresh air!)

I still want to work; I'd rather still be in full-time work than not. I don't feel like I have that purpose now. So it's places like Maggie's where you can come and speak to someone about it.

Because there's only so much you can speak to your partner about, and they don't always understand. Whereas people here do, and especially in the men's group.

Just listening to everyone else makes you realise it's not just me - other people are going through the same thing. You see how they deal with it, and you think 'Hmm I might look at that too!'

So I opened up too in that group, and that's when cancer support specialist Jen said, we're going to get you speaking to Hannah again. So I've been coming back for some counselling.

A shift in perspective

I was here one time, and a guy said he'd booked all these holidays for the year after. Some said "But what if you're no longer here?" and he just replied, “Aah well if I'm not here the wife will still go by herself!" It things like that that show the strength in people, and it gave us all a little giggle.

When you leave here, you don't know what the next person that's walking past you to walk into Maggie's is going through, and they need that cup of tea and biscuit and chat, and that can make the fog clear from them. They can get the help here through talking, the counsel, financial support, and that's what's important about places like this.

I tell everyone about Maggie's. Because cancer is so prevalent now, I know a lot of folk whose parents who have cancer, so I tell them, "Take them to Maggie's, or if not, go yourself". It's just a shame there aren't even more centres!

Looking to the future

I've got three years left of regular check-ups, so once that's up, the plan was to move abroad. And enjoy life!

I've got a granddaughter now, Maeva. She's eight months and she's constantly smiling, she's amazing. Hopefully I get more and more time with her when my daughter goes back to work now that am retired.

I would still like to get a part time job and am in the process of volunteering for a company called Seescape that gives companionship to people who've got sight loss. It's only an hour a week, so it's just to try and get back doing stuff with my time and help others like how Maggie’s has helped me.

Maggie's for 30 years, Maggie's for good

It's extremely important to me that Maggie's is available to more people in the future. Because when I was diagnosed, one in three people got cancer in their lifetime, and now its one in two. If you didn't have places like Maggie's, it would be more of a strain on other organisations, like the NHS.

With counselling, if it's not the NHS, it's private, you're talking a lot of money, and you're going to see a counsellor who probably isn't a specialist on the subject you want. Whereas Maggie's counsellors regularly deal with the reasons why you might be struggling, and as qualified psychologists, they can help you with the other stuff as well.

Would I still be here if I haven't gone to counselling here? I don't know, maybe not, because I was getting myself in a real bad place.

But then I came in, and it's starting to feel like one weight is off my shoulders. They lift you up.

It's like they're pulling me out of the quicksand, the depression, and they get me back onto dry land, so I feel like I can go on and do stuff. That's why what Maggie's does is vitally important.

Peer support, and people who care

And then you've got groups here too. You walk in here, you've got specific groups for specific types of cancer, a women's group, a men's group. So it doesn't matter what you've got, it's about sitting and blethering (talking!).

I'd only been to the men's group once before, and one of the guys handed me an invitation to his party. It's just stuff like that, it's touching.

Also, if you miss a group or something happens, you might get a phone call from a cancer support specialist checking how you are. If Maggie's wasn't here, you wouldn't get that.

Then there's everything else in the background if you need it - the leaflets, the support, and the friends you end up making here. And you've got volunteers who come in to help out in their own time.

The kettle is always on if you need it, and there's always a biscuit to go with it. And that might not sound a lot, but that's enough.

You don't need a red carpet, just a little comfy chair, a nice cuppa in front of you, and a friendly face.

Become a Friend of Maggie's

Everyone with cancer deserves a place like Maggie’s. We want to continue to grow so that we can support everyone impacted by cancer in the UK.

It costs nothing to come into one of our centres - but it takes your kind donations to keep us free of charge for everyone living with cancer and their family and friends.

Become a Friend of Maggie's by donating, fundraising for us or getting involved, and help Maggie’s to be here today, tomorrow and always.